Are We Better Than Non-Transmen?

People love simple villains. Real life doesn’t work that way, especially when you’re a Black trans man walking through the world already assumed to be angry, violent, controlling, or “toxic” before you say a word.

I’m Solomon, and I lay out why the Band of Brothers Mental Health Podcast exists: Black trans masculine folks and Black trans men deserve mental health support that is specific, affirming, and grounded in reality. I share the suicide statistics that pushed me to create this space, then I get clear about what this show is and isn’t. It’s educational and resource-focused, it can be triggering, and it’s not therapy or diagnosis. I also name crisis options for anyone dealing with suicidal ideation, including Trans Lifeline, BlackLine, Thrive Lifeline (text), and The Trevor Project.

Then we get into the hard conversation about gender, patriarchy, and the lazy logic of “all men.” I condemn abuse and violence without turning “men” into a single category, and I push back on the idea that trans men are automatically better than non-trans men. I’ve seen harm show up in every group, and pretending otherwise blocks growth. The real question is what we do with power, how we treat people when we don’t get what we want, and whether we’re willing to look at manipulation and control as real forms of violence.

If you care about Black trans mental health, gender-affirming therapy, peer support, and accountability that actually helps us heal, press play. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find the show.

Transcript

Welcome, Mission, And Who It’s For

Speaker 0:10

Welcome to the Band of Brothers Mental Health Podcast with a focus on the mental health and well-being of black trans masc and trans men and black trans joy. The podcast is a mix of solo episodes focused on improving the mental health and well-being of black trans masc and trans men, interviews with black trans masc and trans men, sharing their mental health journey, tips for improving their mental health and well-being, their mental health struggles, and how they are overcovering them. And also interviews with mental health professionals, therapists, community health workers, and organizations trained in and focused on gender department mental health care.

The Suicide Stats Behind The Podcast

Speaker 0:52

The podcast was started because 60% of black trans masc considered suicide according to a research study by the Trevor Project. And 45% of black trans men considered suicide according to the Williams Institute. When I'm questioned or receive pushback, we're just focusing on black trans masc, trans men, I cite these two statistics.

Safer Space Notes And Crisis Lines

Speaker 1:15

The podcast will also talk about the importance of peer support groups like Band of Brothers to foster mental health and well-being through social support for black trans masc, trans men, and what that would look like. The podcast encourages getting gender-affirming professional mental health care from a licensed gender affirming mental health therapist and participating in peer support groups like Band of Brothers. The podcast does not provide mental health care nor diagnosis. The podcast does not condone ostracizing nor isolating those who are diagnosed and or suffer from any form of mental health conditions. The podcast tries to be a safer healing space. The podcast is educational, provides tips and resources to improve mental health and wellness. The topics the podcast covers may be triggering. Therefore, listen at your own discretion. If you are suicidal or suffer from suicidal ideation, call Trans Lifeline 877-565-8860. Black Line 800-604-5841. Thrive Lifeline, which you can text at 313-662-8209. And or the Travel Project 866-488-7396. Focused on the mental health and well-being of black trans masculine folks and black trans men.

Community Shout Outs And Subscribe

Speaker 2:54

I'm Solomon your host, but before I start, I want to give a shout out to new listeners in New Hyde Park, New York, Punta del Este Moldonado, Uruguay, Kath Mandu, Bagmati Province, Nepal, Odessa, Ukraine, Aman Jordan, Ving Long, and Canto, Vietnam, Baghdad, Iraq, Ireland, Philippines, Mexico, Brazil, and listeners in the new and new listeners in the United Kingdom. Welcome to community. Shout out to our current community of loyal listeners as well. Listen, follow, and subscribe to the podcast.

Why “All Men” Claims Fail

Speaker 4:14

Today's episode answers the question Are we as trans masculine folks and trans men better than non-trans men? Men are not a monolith. There are men who do use power to conquer control to exact violence, even una live folks. I agree this is a problem. Violence against women and children by men is abhorrent and should be rallied against. However, it isn't the bar every man should be measured by. There will always be a segment of men who succumb to their dark sides, who can't overcome it or simply don't want to. A segment of men have been this way before patriarchy was a household name. A segment of men will continue to succumb to the dark side after it is successfully dismantled. Are there some men who use power for their pleasure or to get what they want? Because they were refused, rejected, yes. These are the men who get the attention, the rogues, the violent men, the tyrants. So it seems more of them exist than the men who are using their power responsible. However, attention or the detection of a pattern of behavior does not mean that violence is the only behavior men exhibit. It is the only behavior we recognize. It is the only pattern we pay attention to. But it is not the only pattern of men's behavior

Speaker 4:42

Tired of black trans folks beingignored and trans folks in general being misrepresented in mainstream media? Then subscribe to Trans Man In Search of Media at transmaninsearchhub.substack.com An independent media hub focused on black trans folks and trans folks in general Support Independent Black Trans Media By clicking the link in the show notes

Stereotypes, Patriarchy, And Double Standards

Speaker 6:55

As a black trans man, because of the way I look and present, I am assumed to be angry, violent, controlling, domineering, toxic. Even though I have never acted in this manner, action does not matter. I am a black man. A black man's actions doesn't matter. He is always perceived negatively no matter what he does. That's why I don't understand black folks, black trans folks railing against patriarchy. Most of us grew up in matriarchal homes. Either we were raised by our mothers, grandmothers, or if it was a two-parent household, our mothers ran our fathers and us. So I don't get this. I also don't understand some black trans men saying non-trans men are despicable and innately and inherently violent. Somehow trans men are better than non-trans men because trans men don't have this trait. It is a lie. Non-trans men are not innately violent, and trans men are not better. I have encountered violent trans men. I know of trans men who have perpetuated violence against women and trans women. Because some men act abhorrently. However, no matter how abhorrently women, even trans women, act, they are given the benefit of the doubt. If it is suggested by a man or a trans man that she picked the violent abusive man because she thought she could tame him, but it ended badly. It is now misogyny or misogynoir. We are blaming women and because it ended in violence or being unalived, her lack of discernment will never be questioned. Again, I'm not excusing abuse, violence, nor death due to it. But blanket statements that all men are bad, evil, the dismantling of patriarchy will solve the problem of some men behaving badly is absurd. When some men were acting violently before patriarchy existed or was named, men are capable of using their power for the good of their loved ones, community, and society. They have done it throughout history and continue to do so now. Quit giving bad villainous men attention. Give the men using power responsibly more of your attention. Black trans men and trans masculine folks are not perfect. Neither are trans men or trans masculine folks in general perfect. We don't have to prove we are better. Our experiences make us different, not better than non-trans men. Like non-trans men, we are out here having to find our own way.

Self-Reflection On Power And Manipulation

Speaker 11:03

Let's focus on our own mental health and well-being. How not to be overcome by our own dark sides and shadow selves. Attacking non-trans men and putting ourselves up on a pedestal is a sign of low self-esteem. And poor mental health and well-being. It is arrogant and judgmental, especially when some in the community have exhibited the same behaviors. Again, let us look at ourselves. All of us, trans masculine folks, trans men, and non-trans men, all have our struggles. Some of us have the mental health and well-being to use power wisely, some of us don't. As trans masculine folks, as trans men, are we using our power wisely? When we don't get what we want, do we manipulate? Do we withhold? Some of us may not be physically violent, but psychological and verbal manipulation is just as toxic, just as violent. It may not leave bruises on the body, but it does on the mind and soul. Are we pretending to be the good guys, to be accepted, to manipulate and better our position? If so, are we really the good guys or just castrated men? Are we really putting in the work of being better as trans men, as trans masculine folks? Or do we feel we don't have to do the work at all because we are not them?

Support The Show And Closing

Speaker 13:00

If you enjoy the podcast, become a paid subscriber or supporter. Information is in the show notes. The band of brothers Mental Health Podcast is produced, written, and edited by Trans Man In Search of Media. I would like to thank you for letting me support your podcast.